Dos and Don’ts (November Edition)

Can we all agree that this year has flown by!  It is very hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that it’s November already.  But, it’s here and it’s nothing we can do about it at this point but join in on the fun.  With that being said, it’s time for November’s Dos and Don’ts.

Shana:  Take life one day at a time….it’s not a race, you may think your peers are out doing you but maybe it’s just not your time, but it will come!

Toya:  I believe it’s very important for us to appreciate where we are in life and to also celebrate where others are in their lives.  You know, the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.

S:  We were all put on this earth for a reason, make sure yours is a good one!

T:  We can most often do this by finding our purpose in life or our mission.  Have you thought about that lately?  If not, start doing that now!

S:  Don’t be scared to step outside of your box.  I feel like we all get really comfortable in our everyday life and don’t make efforts to change.

T:  I love it.  Change is often hard but it’s most likely always necessary.  Great point, Shana!!!

S:  Do something good everyday, whether it be for you or someone else. Pay it forward!

T:  Have you ever been in a drive-thru line at a restaurant and you get up to the window to pay and the person before you has already paid for your meal?  It is a wonderful and great feeling.  Let’s all remember to do that at least once this Holiday season.  Let’s pay it forward!  Are you in?

S:  Be humble!

T:  Yes!  It’s important to stay grounded.

S:  If you are a born leader, set a good example.  Not everyone is born this way, some are followers.

T:  Plain and Simple.

S:  We are coming on the season of giving, this doesn’t mean you spend every dime you have buying the most expensive gift for someone.  It’s really the thought that counts, put thoughts into your gift rather than a ton of money.  People will appreciate it more!

T:  Hmmmm…I’m thinking about what I want to receive.  I like expensive!!!!!! Can I have thought and expensive?  Haha.

S:  This time of year is a great time to donate, whether it be your time or donations to a shelter or not-for-profit organization.

T:  I know a lot of organization have already started doing coat drives, Holiday Baskets, and so much more this season.  Reach out to your local organizations or church to see how you can be a blessing to someone else.

S:  Remember there is another holiday between Halloween and Christmas. I feel like more and more people forget about Thanksgiving!

T:  People.  Let’s not forget about Thanksgiving.  It is by far, my favorite Holiday!

S:  Get your rest, you really can’t be your best “YOU” without unwinding a little.

T:  Yaaaaaaaaasssssssss!!  When I tell you I have been working like a mad-dog I mean that.  So much so that I haven’t been getting my proper rest, I haven’t been working out, I haven’t been eating well and I can tell.  Get the 4-1-1 on my life HERE!

S:  Don’t live in someone’s past, I think we get fixated on what a person was instead of what they have become to be. People can change.

T:  To add to this, I would also say don’t get caught up in a person’s potential either.  It can go both ways.  Just be careful out here in these streets!

S:  Be thankful for the things you have rather than what you don’t.

T: Currently hanging on my wall……img_6650

S:  Be optimistic!  No one likes a negative Nancy!

T:  What she said!

S:  Don’t forget, there are only a couple of weeks until Christmas!  Spend time with family and friends if you don’t have the means for gifts and giving! Time is just as important!

T:  Time is everything.  In all honestly and with all jokes aside, it is not about the gift.  But it is all about the time you share with one another and the memories you will create that will last so much longer than any possible gift.  Time is priceless!

Bonus: Ladies/Gents–Do you or your man participate in the No Shave November?  If so, I want to see pics!  Tag me on Social Media or use the Hashtag #ItojaNoShaveNovember

Well, that wraps up November!  It’s a lot of great Dos and Don’ts in this post.  I’m eager to see what was your favorite.  Be sure to leave your comments below and to hit the FOLLOW BUTTON to be sure you’re never missing out on the fun.  We have some fun things already in progress just for you for 2019!

How many of you will join in on the Pay it Forward Challenge that I’m creating at this very moment!  If you’re in, comment IN on the post and then be sure to come back to let us know how you Paid it Forward this Holiday Season!!!!!!! Use Hashtag #ItojaPayItForwardChallenge on your social media feeds so that I can follow along.


Shana lives in VA with her husband and daughter.


Dos and Don’ts (August Edition)

I can’t believe it is August already.  I know I say this every month, but I really can’t believe it’s August.  The kids here in my area are getting ready to head back to school in less than two weeks!  Before you know it, the temperature will begin to drop and the chill will set in the air. Ugh.  I don’t mind fall but I hate Winter.  Winter always seem like it last forever!

Any who, here we are at our August Do’s and Don’ts for the month.  The Back to School Edition!  Let’s jump in!

Shana: Talk to your kids about bullying; it really starts at home!

Toya: Definitely!  Besides, the President is the biggest bully there is…lets all be better than him.  Yup–I said that!

S: If you drive through a school zone on the way to work or home, please watch out for our children!

T: Ugh, yes.  But please make it swift.  Adults are trying to get to work.  LOL

S: Your child should be able to talk to you comfortably without being scared you are going to get mad at them… about anything!

T: Love this.  So true.

S: Being a parent, I’ve learned that you should never push your kid too hard but you also shouldn’t let them give up easy either.

T: Be your child’s biggest supporter and critique.  Always, expect greater.  I push my child in school.  She’s literally afraid to come home with anything less than a A and now it’s just what she wants and expect of herself–I don’t even have to say much these days.  She was a straight A student all in Middle School… she’s headed to the 9th grade!

S: Don’t live vicariously through your children, it’s their life.  You already had your childhood let them have theirs.

T:  I believe this is true as well.

S: I saw the perfect meme the other day, it went something like this “Don’t send your kids to school in $100 shoes and no school supplies.” So true!

T:  Can I send them to school with both though?  I just brought my child a pair of Jordan’s that cost $140!  We have expensive taste! hahaha

S: If you have elementary age kids that have to have crayons for class, spend the couple of extra cents and get the Crayola brand, you know the Rose Art don’t color as well.

T: OMG!!!!  Not that Rose Art—those crayons are so soft.  The worst.  Too Funny!!  Don’t buy them for any school drives you may be participating in either. LOL

S: If you have Pandora – two good stations for road trips are Hip Hop BBQ and Hip Hop road trip, they have all the good 90s and early 2000s music.

T: I never use Pandora but I’ll have to remember these stations for when I’m traveling.

S: Another road trip tip, I’m not sure if this is just an iPhone app.  But if you don’t have “Waze” download it now!!  It’s a navigational app that not only gives you step by step voice directions like your typical GPS, but it also informs you of accidents that may be ahead of you, cars on the side of the road, cops, traffic, the speed limit and even directions that will get you around traffic.  It also gives directions to restaurants and shopping centers, it is not a lot that it does not do.  I use this every time I travel!

T:  Same here!  I love Waze.  We, too, use it all the time.  I even use it in town when I’m trying to get somewhere fast.  And no, it’s not just an iPhone app; I know people who has that awful Samsung phone with it as well. 🙂

S: Now is the perfect time to start your Christmas shopping, if you haven’t already.  You could buy a $25 gift card every pay-day or even put $25 back if you want to wait closer to shop.

T: What an amazing idea!  I’ve never thought of this.  I think I’m going to try it this year.  I’ll let you know how it goes.  Woot Woot!  And no, I haven’t stated Christmas shopping yet.  I haven’t even thought about it.

S: If you ever get a chance to go to any of the Disney parks, you have to go to Joffrey’s they have the best coffee and the “biggest” best donuts ever in life!!

T: I’ve been to Disney twice, and I’ve never heard of this park.  I tell ya, you can learn so much from other people!  I went to Disney once as a child and then again in 2012 when I took my own child.  Everyone should experience Disney at least once, I think.  But be prepared to stand in long lines, to spend all day at the parks, and to get rained on at least once while you’re there.  I really wish the major parks didn’t cost so much.

S: Summer is almost over, but you still have time to cross off a few of those bucket list items!

T: We are waiting on you! Try something new.  I went hiking this Summer.  It wasn’t on my initial list but I’m happy to have that checked off! Whew!  Read all about it HERE!

S: You also have 4 months to start those New Years resolutions, it’s never too late!

T: Wow.  Shana is really challenging us here.  I don’t recall making a New Years resolution…..let me go and double-check!  It’s been so long ago! LOL

Well, this concludes our list of August of Dos and Don’ts, I just love this edition of Itoja!  I hope you do as well.  Click Dos and Don’ts to catch up on previous months.  Next month may be a little late, but it’s for a good reason – stay tuned to find out why.

Don’t forget to subscribe to Itoja so that you never miss a beat.  Leave your comments below of your favorite Dos and Don’ts for the month or perhaps one that made you think twice!

Talk to you real soon!


Shana lives in VA with her husband and daughter.


Dos and Don’ts (July Edition)

I cannot believe it’s July!  Kids are in full summer mode and vacations are happening every week.  The days are longer and it’s hot.  Time flies when you’re having fun and with that being said, that brings us to our “Dos and Don’ts” for July.

Shana:  Give to give, not to receive… if you give a gift to someone give because you want to and not because you expect something in return.

Toya:  Giving is better than receiving!  When you bless others you will be blessed in return.

S:  If you do something for someone, don’t hold it over their head.

T:  There is nothing worse than someone bringing up something they’ve done for you especially during an altercation.  Not cool.

S:  Try new things, they say taste buds change every 7 years and I think that could go for feelings and emotions also, something you may have hated years ago could become something you love now.

T:  I remember growing up I didn’t like grapefruit.  Now, I can eat it and find it very tasting.  So it’s true, taste buds do change.  Be brave and try something different or old in this case!

S:  Wash your towels in hot water, I promise it will make them feel brand new again!

T:  And throw like 4 washing pods in there!  That’s what I do.  HaHa.

S:  You remember that diary you kept as a kid, do it as an adult but call it a journal.  You don’t have to write every detail of your day, maybe just thoughts and ideas.

T:  Journaling is great especially for relieving stress.  I would even go a step further and say you don’t have to write in it every day.  But perhaps a few times a week when you need to debrief and get things off of your mind.

S:  I feel like no one really uses an actually camera anymore.  Everyone take pictures on their phone.  But you should still print pictures off and keep photo albums.  You need something to show your grandchildren one day; like your grandparents did you.

T:  I’ll let you in on a secret of mine.  I create photo albums from  I’ve created vacation books filled with pictures from vacations.  I’ve also created random picture books.  My family created a memory book for my uncle who passed away.  There are truly a ton of options from baby books, wedding books, and many more.  Not only do they have a lot of options but the books are very easy to make.  It’s one of my favorite things!  Give it a try by clicking HERE to get a FREE 8×8 photo book!

S:  Check on your strong friend!!!!

T: Ditto!

S:  Not everything is about you and not everyone wants to constantly hear you talking about you.  Give others a chance to talk also.

T:  This is good advice.  Many people should take heed to this.

S:  I recently heard if you were over the age of thirty to not to wear eyeliner because it makes you look younger.  I’ve recently been doing this and really can’t see a difference. So wear what you want!

T:  Interesting.  Perhaps I’ll try one eye and see if I can tell a difference. LOL

S:  Build your friends up, don’t tear them down by always trying to “one up” them.  Friendship isn’t a competition.

T:  Friends shouldn’t be jealous of other friends.  If they are, they’re not a true friend.

S:  You can do anything you put your mind to!


S:  Don’t change for someone else, change for you.

T:  Shana is preaching this month!  Just imagine me clapping my hands right now saying, YAAAASSSSS!!!!!!

S:  Keep your pocketbook organized, you will feel better about your life.

T:  I heard once, that if your purse is junky that means you have a man and don’t have time to clean it out! Haha.  But in all seriousness, you’ll function better with an organized and clean pocketbook or purse but for me, it only stays like that for two days max.  So then it’ll be a mess for about a week or two until I get around to doing it again or until I switch my purse.

Thanks for reading our monthly Dos and Don’ts.  We really appreciate it.  Check out prior publications HERE!  Let us know what you think in the comments below.  Here are some fun questions for you.

Just out of curiosity:

Do you say pocketbook or purse?  

Do you sprinkle salt on your watermelon?                                                  


Shana lives in VA with her husband and daughter.


Dos and Don’ts (June Edition)

Hey guys!

For a second I thought we weren’t going to have the June edition of Dos and Don’t due to my partner, Shana (who collabs with me for this specific segment of Itoja) being busy and enjoying herself on vacation.

But like always she has come through and has yet to let us down.

She’s created this edition especially for the Summer; so take heed and enjoy!

Shana:  I can’t stress this enough- it is hot we all sweat and no one wants to smell your sweat! Take a bath; wear deodorant, lotion, and put on some perfume.  But definitely take a bath and wear deodorant!!!

Toya:  And if you choose not to keep up your personal hygiene please stay home!! Thank you kindly.

S:  If you are going to wear sandals take care of your feet!!  I am not saying that you have to pay money to get a pedicure because you can clip your nails and paint them at home.

T:  I’m going to let you in on a secret.  I like feet.  I think they are cute.  But you must keep them up!!

S:  If you have children, make sure they know water safety, how to swim, what to and not to do around water- this could save a life!  There are plenty of places that offer swim lessons.

T:  Parents…..make sure you’re watching your kids when you’re at the pool or around a big body of water.  Nothing scares me more than a child in water because you just never know what will happened if you blink or turn your head for just a second. (Just throwing my two-cents in there)

S: I know I said this last month but wear sunscreen Or be like Toya and only do 30 minutes in the sun, I always tell her she has the best skin I’m sure this is why!! Haha seriously though.. we all need sunscreen, Toya can get burnt in her 30 minutes also.

T: Yes, guys…you should all be like me!  But either way you should def wear sunscreen.

S:  I understand it is hot and clothes make you hotter, BUT this does not mean that you can show more skin of yours than any of us want to see!  Please be tactful in your attire.

T:  Please save your two-piece bikini looking outfits for the pool!  Be classy…not trashy! Haha

S:  If you have pets, don’t leave them outside all day in the blistering sun- if you have no choice make sure they have shade and plenty of water.

T:  I am not an animal person at all.  BUT, I believe that you should pay special attention to your pets whenever the weather is extreme.

S:  I’m all about planning and making bucket lists- so make a Summer one, things you can only do in the summer. Go putt putting, go to a vineyard, rent a boat at the lake, take a mini vacation or even a week if you can afford to the beach!

T:  (1) This is probably my favorite “DO” of the month!  I think I can check the Vineyard off because in May, we took a Sunday and drove to about 5 different vineyards/wineries.  Here’s a tip:  Download the Vino Wine, wine app to your phone.  It will show you the nearest wineries wherever you are.  There is never an excuse to not knowing where the closest vineyard is from you!  Make a day for some adult fun.  It’s easy, fun, and inexpensive.  (2) My vacation isn’t until the end of the Summer but renting a boat on a lake sounds like fun! Or hiking. Be active.


S: Stay hydrated- Don’t over do it in this sun!

T:  Heat exhaustion is no joke.  Did you know that water is your best-friend?  I tend to eat ice a lot to cool me off although they say that isn’t good for you.  But I’ve fainted a few times and that is not a good feeling either so Ice it is.  So while I love Summer I also choose to stay cool and hydrated.

S: Socks and sandals DO NOT go together!!

T:  This is a major No-No!

S:  We should all make an appointment with the dermatologist just to have any moles or spots checked .. to be on the safe side.

T:  Great Idea!

S:  If you are going to wear a sunless tanner, make sure you take all the proper steps (like exfoliating) before applying; also wipe around the edges of your fingers and toes– baby wipes work great.  This will prevent you from having rust colored fingers.

T:  As a black girl–I really have no clue as to what she’s talking about–But if you do, then take her advice.

This just may be my favorite edition yet.  I love Summer; besides it’s usually when I take my vacation.  I also love bringing these Do’s and Don’ts to you every month.  Where else can you be informed and entertained all in one place?  Click HERE for past editions.  Of course these are merely suggestions from two girls who are friends but who are also very different.

I want to challenge you all to embrace those who may be different from you.  Take the opportunity to pull something greater from them than just the areas where you may differ.  I’ve found that your differences are usually the beams that keep you stable and balanced.

Love what you’re reading?  Be sure to FOLLOW so that you never miss a moment of the shenanigans that goes on, on Itoja!


Shana lives in VA with her husband and daughter.


Dos and Don’ts (May Edition)

Can you believe that we are already 5 months into 2018?  Which means it’s time for another edition of “Dos and Don’ts.”

Please check out prior months HERE.  Also, if you have a “Do or Don’t” that you think we should hear please feel free to send them my way at  You never know when it may be published!!!!

Just like always, these suggestions are brought to you monthly by Shana and I follow-up with my thoughts.  You can follow Shana on IG HERE or on FB HERE.

Shana: Don’t put all of your eggs in one basket.  Don’t use all of your resources on one thing! – Broaden those horizons because there is more out there for you!

Toya:  This is sound advice and something that most are taught from an early age.  At times, it can be very hard to stick to this idea or concept.

S: Don’t waste time worrying about something you have no control over, everything works its self out in the end; whether it’s the way you intended or not.  Remember that everything happens for a reason.

T:  I have to tell myself this several times a day.  I find myself wanting to be in control and sometimes have a hard time letting go.  I’m learning to trust myself and others more. Anxiety is not fun.

S: Be the friend that you want to have and remember your friends are allowed to have other friends.

T: 👏🏽👏🏽 I love this!  In January I wrote a blog centered around friends, click HERE to read all about it!  Just remember that friendship is a two-way street.  It’s a relationship that also requires work as well as sacrifices.  Friends shouldn’t be jealous of their friends or their friends, friends.  But they should encourage, uplift, and support each other.

S:  Hear say is exactly that…

T:  Pretty much!  Don’t sweat it.

S:  You are not going to like everyone and everyone will like you, so just be nice and keep it moving.

T:  Your character speaks a lot about yourself.  He who angers you, control you!

S:  Don’t be petty, or overly dramatic….well unless you are 8 then it’s only somewhat okay.

T:  Haha.  Everyone loves a little pettiness though, right? LOL

S:  Accept change.  It’s the only way to make it through life.

T:  Certainly true.  Life is all about change.

S: Do not stress.  You are too pretty for that!  Have a glass or a bottle of wine, it works wonders!

T:  You don’t have to tell me this twice.  I’m currently loving Prosecco.  You should try some!  I recently heard that if you add a splash of St. Germain to your Prosecco that it’s like heaven.  So that’s my next mission.  I’ll give you my thoughts when I try it!

S:  If you have kids learn to enjoy things they enjoy, it will keep you young at heart.

T:  And it will also keep you busy.  I’m just saying!

S:  If you wear makeup wash it off before you go to bed, let your skin breathe!

T:  You should probably do this.  Although, I can admit that there are nights when I completely skip this step in my nightly routine.  I do like the makeup wipes though, it makes it a lot easier and quicker.

S:  Wear sunscreen!!! I feel like I can’t stress this enough.  Melanoma is in the top 10 most diagnosed types of cancer!  I actually had a friend to recently go to the dermatologist and was told to wear chap-stick at all times.  So for all of you who make fun of the hundreds of chap-stick tubes I keep with me, ha!

T:  Dear Black People, just because we don’t spend a lot of time in the sun doesn’t mean we do not need sunscreen.  We not only tan but we can also burn as well. Even when it’s cloudy outside, sunscreen should be worn.  As it gets warmer and we begin to wear less clothes be sure to have your sunscreen!!  Here’s a picture of me from vacation last summer.  The Caribbean sun burned me to a crisp.


S:  I stole these last two from one of Toya’s blogs but they really resonated with me:

“We may be delayed but we are not denied” – everything may not happen in your time, on your schedule but that doesn’t mean it won’t happen.

“Never think that you are exempt from anything especially if you have not taken the precautionary steps” – people really need to read this sentence aloud and read it often, because I think we all live our lives like nothing bad could happen to us, when truth is we don’t know.  Only the man above knows exactly what our every move is before we make it.

T:  The above two quotes were taking from my “Delayed but not Denied” blog.  To get a better context of those two quotes, please click the above link for the full blog post.


Well that does it for this month!  Let us know what your favorite “Do or Don’t” was for the month.  As always, your comments, likes, and shares are welcomed.

Love what you’re reading?  Click the follow button to be sure you’re always connected to Itoja!


Shana lives in VA with her husband and daughter.


Dos & Don’ts (April Edition)

Who’s ready for another exciting month of Dos & Don’ts?  If you’re not ready, you should probably get ready because its that time again and we’re coming at you full speed!  But before we get started, I believe I can officially say, Happy Spring!  With that being said, be sure to get those pedicures done before you bring out the Flip-Flops! 🙂 Let’s put this on the top of the “To Do List” for the season!

Now that we have that out the way, here’s what Shana has listed for us this month.  You know the routine.  She gives her suggested Dos and Don’ts for the month and I follow up with my response.  Here are the links for JANUARY, FEBRUARY, and MARCH!

Shana:  Stop telling people your next move, show them!  People would rather see you fail than succeed these days.

Toya:  In today’s day and age, this is definitely true.  ESPECIALLY with social media.  Everyone talks as if they are making money moves in these streets.

S:  Travel, it’s important to get outside of your little bubble.  Even if it it’s a little weekend get away.

T:  Travel or just take a day or two and stay home away from everyone and debrief.  Chilllld.  When I tell you it’s necessary.  It’s necessary!  Typically, when I travel those are busy days for me as well.  We are always on the go, trying to maximize our time away.  I remember taking off of work and then telling everyone I was off and I’ll end up having to run a million errands on my day off.  Not anymore.  If I’m off and it’s not a holiday I’m not telling a soul.

S:  Give advice when asked but also listen.  Listening is important, sometimes that is all someone needs.

T:  This is why God gave us two ears and one mouth!!! (I’ll give you a minute to let that sink in!)

S:  Mind your business, I think some adults forgot how to do this.  If you weren’t in the conversation don’t insert yourself.

T:  I think this is true, especially, if it’s a face-to-face conversation.

S:  My mom always told me to treat the janitor the same way you would treat the CEO.  No one is better than anyone else.

T:  Good advice mom!  If I could take this a little further, I would also say, lets start treating Black and Brown people the same way White people are treated.  There is still a lot of white privileged people and EVERYONE should be treated the same.  At work, in public, in life, in general.

S:  People talk about kids being bullies, but I see and hear adults doing it everyday.  I think we all need to check ourselves.  Push those crowns up don’t tear them down,  you don’t know what kind of battle someone is fighting.

T:  Adults try to bully other adults only because they are insecure and unhappy.  You have to overlook people like that.

S:  Learn how to take constructive criticism.  If you did something wrong, learn from it, and move on.

T:  Learning how to take constructive criticism is very important.  However, it takes time to learn this concept.  Sometimes you have to just sit in the “criticism” before you respond and react.  

S:  Take chances, don’t have regrets.

T:  You know, I was listening to something earlier in the week and the question was asked, “When was the last time you took a risk?”  Taking a risk here and there is important.  You never know if you can succeed if you never try.  Usually our biggest fear or biggest risk is where our biggest blessing lies.  It’s all about taking that first step of faith!  

S:  So, you know I love to clean.  Well I recently found this company, Grove Collaboration-they have all natural cleaning supplies so your house doesn’t smell like chemicals.  I love it!  The lavender is my absolute favorite.  Here’s a link if you want to check them out.

T:  Ok, I see you throwing in your plug! 🙂 Girls, check out the link above and get your cleaning grove on!  I need some a-la-carte shopping.  I don’t like the whole bulk scheduling orders, but I’m going to browse around a little more to see what I see.  Join me!

S:  If you are contagious sick, don’t leave your house.  I can promise you that no one wants what you have.

T:  And in that order!!!!!  Keep yo’ tail at home!

S:  If you aren’t going to do at least 5 over the speed limit, get in the slow lane.  There are people that would like to go around you.

T:  Calm your road rage!  Haha.  Typically, I’m not a road rage type of girl…..I try not to let things like that bother me.  Whether you are going 5 miles over or under the limit I can usually work my way around you.  

S:  Try to make the most/best out of everything because time really does fly by, you never know how long you have.

T:  I feel like we talked about this last month!  This statement is true though. 

S:  Your glass is always half full!

T:  I guess this would depend on whose glass it was!

S:  Make a bucket list and actually do some or all of the things you write down.

T:  My bucket list has always been the same.  To visit at least all the 50 states once and to visit as many new places as possible throughout my lifetime.  

S:  Try new things, as in food because they say your taste buds change every 7 years.  I know mine did after I had Harlow.

T:  Ironic as it seemed, this happened with me.  I couldn’t stand grapefruit and now it’s not so bad.  I also didn’t like celery and actually while I was pregnant I ate the entire stalk.  It was right at Thanksgiving; when I tell you my daddy had to go to the store to buy more celery for the stuffing, he did!  

I just love doing these each month and I certainly hope you all enjoy reading them.  Do you have a bucket list?  If so, tell me one thing on your list.  Have you taken a risk lately?  Do you believe your cup is half full or half empty?  Please tell.


Shana lives in VA with her husband and daughter.