Itoja’s Top Blogs + My Number 1 Blogging Tip!

If you’ve been following me for some time now, then you are aware that I’ve written about everything under the sun.  If you can name it, I’ve probably written about it or given my two cents about it in some form or another.  This is one reason why I like to call myself your virtual best friend—because I’m here to give you the 411—and one of the reasons why you’ll never catch me conforming to a niche.

With that being said, I wanted to highlight a few of my top blogs thus far.  Perhaps there is one on the list that you didn’t get a chance to read or maybe you’re just interested in seeing the blogs that has gotten the most love over time. Whatever the case may be, I have them here for your review.  Believe me, they range from Love and Romance to smoking weed.  It’s a wide spectrum.  It truly makes me laugh out loud!  But, I now know what you guys are into! HAHA.  Listen, this is a no judgement zone so no worries here! Continue reading


Michelle Obama.  Some would say, former First Lady of the United States, but I consider her to still be my First Lady.  Her book Becoming, a memoir which was published in November of 2018 soared past record sales for the year within 15 days.

I chose to purchase the audio version of the book, just because I could listen to the book while at work and therefore killing two birds with one stone.  The book was broken down into three sections; Becoming Me, Becoming Us, and Becoming More.  Listening to Mrs. Obama as she carefully read each word with grace and dignity gave me a much deeper appreciation for her as person and a much clearer view into her life as a daughter, sister, mother, friend, wife, as well as a humanitarian.  Her personal reflections are mesmerizing as she tells her truth as only she could tell it. Continue reading

Brick by Brick

When a relationship doesn’t pan out to be what we expect it to be or what our version of a particular relationship should look like we begin to build mental walls.  The walls that we build are set into place brick by brick; because while we hope the relationship has potential we don’t want to personally set ourselves up for failure.  At best, we are trying to protect the heart.

I believe this to be true for all relationships.  Whether it’s a romantic relationship, a friendship, family, business, or casual. Continue reading

Itoja’s Top 5 Blogs of 2018

Hey Friends!

For starters, check out my shirt in the featured picture.  I ran across it online and I just had to order it.  It’s such a conversation starter; with those who know I’m a blogger and also to those who have no clue!

So when I’m wearing the shirt, I typically respond with, yes, I am a blogger plus so much more!  As you all know, I recently celebrated my one year blogging anniversary (you can find that post HERE); this past year has been a blast and I’ve posted a ton of blogs! 🙂  Today, I’m sharing my top 5 blogs of the year with you.  It’s my year-end wrap-up!

At Last….My Love has come along! Here I share my last blog before getting married.  I also share some of the anxieties I was having as we got closer to the big day!

The Black community needs therapy too! Therapy is something that is not often talked about in the black community–Here I share why it IS needed.

My Top 5 Mystery Podcast I love Podcast. It literally helps my work day go by faster. Here are my top 5 mystery podcast. I can’t wait to share more with you in 2019.

5 reasons to read “The Face of Expression” By Aaron Woodson My first book review. Find out why you should read “The Face of Expression.”

I Have Beef With Our Black Brothers Earlier in the year I spoke about why I was upset with Black men. (FYI: Meek Mill, whom I reference in the post is no longer in jail).

Were one of these blogs on your top favorite list?  If you have your own personal favorite, be sure to share it below.

Also, share your favorite podcast–I’m eager to listen.

Be sure to stay tuned for what’s to come from Itoja in 2019.  I can’t believe this year has gone by so fast.  Love what you’re reading?  Click the SUBSCRIBE button and follow me on Social Media!

Your Virtual BFF,



You’ve asked; I’ve answered! (Getting to know Toya)

In just a few months I’ll stumble across my one year anniversary of blogging and I believe there is no better time than now for you to get to know me a little better.  If you’ve been following along and enjoying this journey as much as I have then you may know a little about me,  but perhaps we could dig a little deeper.  So that’s what this blog is all about; getting to know me better!

To assist me in this project, I asked my readers some time ago to send me their burning questions, and like always, they came through.  Additional questions were added by me and then some were taken from The Fab Files.

Why do you blog?

In short, I love to write.  There is a ton of stuff going on in my head, often at the same time.  I realized that I needed a place to unpack my brain at any given moment of the day.  I want to somehow, someway, empower young girls and women across the world.  Perhaps, even men too.  I’m not opposed to that.  I wouldn’t say I’ve had a rough life, actually, I think it’s been pretty good for the most part.  But I have experiences a lot of things and I want to talk about it all.

What are your goals when it comes to blogging?

My goals are:

– To be a sounding board where we can all come together in one place.

 -To be as relatable as possible to my readers while also representing the black culture.

-To grow as a blogger and to network more.

-Ultimately, my goal is to be the Oprah Winfrey of Blogging! Plain and simple.

What are your nicknames? What do you prefer to be called?

I have a ton of nicknames; Toya, Toja, Toj, Loli, Hash Brown, Jamaican Toya (inside story).  I prefer to be called Toya or Toja.  But when I’m at work in a professional setting I prefer Latoya.

How do you come up with your blog ideas?

Inspiration mostly.  I also think about what do I want my readers to learn from me after reading my blog?  Which is why a lot of blogs are centered around my everyday life or experiences but hopefully written in a way to where the readers can learn from or at least start a conversation.  Sometimes I’m giving suggestions on blog post from readers.  I really love when my readers give me suggestions–this is what helps me grow.

What is your zodiac sign?

I’m a Taurus.  I’m a bull but I think for the most part a nice one.  I can be very stubborn and standoffish at times.  I’m not easily moved.  I don’t necessarily make friends easy.  I think the Taurus has a lot to do with that.

Who performs the most random acts of kindness out of everyone you know?

It would have to be a tie between my mother and grandmother.  They are huge givers and they inspire me to be like them, probably more than they know.

Favorite sound?

My favorite sound is silence.  I really don’t like a lot of noise.  There are moments when I will sit at home with no TV or anything on.  I love being in the quiet and stillness of my thoughts.  My phone is ALWAYS on silent.  Which is why I miss a lot of phone calls.  I don’t like to hear it ring constantly, I don’t like to hear text message chimes, or email chimes.  I’ll see it when I see it.

Favorite pastime thing to do?

I LOVE traveling.  If I could travel for a living that would be my job.  I enjoy going to new places and learning about their culture.  It’s exciting and fun.  I also enjoy going to wineries.

What are you most proud of?

I am most proud to be a mom.  It is truly one of the greatest blessings and definitely a true way to learn how to love unconditionally.

Name a time when you were really afraid?

This may seem really funny,  but it when I was Jet Skiing in the Florida Keys.  It was the most scariest things I had every done.  I was terrified.  I was cussing and praying at the same time.  I was so afraid.  All I saw was water and I am not a swimmer.  I was on the back of my sister and she didn’t know what she was doing although she tried to act like she did.  I thought I would die.

Are you high maintenance? Explain.

I would say, perhaps, a little.  I enjoy really nice things but I do ball on a budget.

If you could restore one broken relationship, which would it be?

I don’t want to say that it’s broke, but I would make the relationships between my brothers and I a lot stronger and closer.

If you could live anywhere, where would it be?

I would have 3 homes.  One in Virginia, my home state.  One in Florida, because that’s where the hubby wants to live.  Then one in California.  I love vacationing in California, the weather is perfect and I love the atmosphere.  In my dream world we would rotate homes about every 4 months!

What is your go to TV show when nothing else is on?

My go-to TV show is most likely any 90’s sitcom from when I was growing up.  I can usually sit and watch those shows for hours.

Did I leave off anything that you really wanted to know?  Leave a comment and I’ll be sure to answer.

Oh, and I’d like to know a little about you too.  Tell me where you’re reading from?



Inspiration for our Young Men who are off to College!

Connecting with a person to get your point across is as easy as getting on their level?  Especially, when you’re trying to relay a message to the opposite sex or to a person who may be younger or older than you.

When it was finally time for my nephew to walk the stage after completing High School, I knew I wanted to leave him with a message.  He was completing one goal and getting ready to start another; as he’ll be heading to college in the fall.  Society loves to down play achievements such as these for African-American males but on the flip side they are quick to say one is a thug of sorts.  Therefore, it was my goal to inspire him! Continue reading

I’m Wishing on a Dream…

In today’s post, I want you–yes you–to take a deep breath, close your eyes, and just day-dream for a minute or two.  Let your imagination take you on a journey that perhaps you haven’t traveled along in many years.

One thing I love about children, they never forfeit the opportunity to imagine or daydream.  They are okay with allowing their thoughts to lead them to a land of possibilities and “what-ifs.”

As adults, everyday life usually gets the best of us.  However, I believe if we take a few minutes to daydream and to explore our minds you just never know where it may lead us.  Besides, daydreaming can be a form of relieving stress when we channel our minds to other places.

Need ideas of what to daydream about? Here are a few:

If you won a billion dollars, what would you do with it?  How do you think your life would change?  What would be one of the first things you would buy?

Think about being on a beach under the shade and what type of book you would be reading?

Think about where you want to see yourself in five years?

If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would it be?

Think about a change you wish you could see in the world, and perhaps how you could make a difference?

What about your dream home, or a dream car?  What do those things look like to you?

Our dreams are only part of the vision.  Let your imagination be the starting  point to any achievement you wish to have.  After you dream it, write it down, and take the necessary steps to turn those dreams into reality!

Feel free to answer any of the suggested ideas listed above in the comments below.  Or, perhaps you want to add your own dreamy ideas to the comment section.  Either way……

……Dream on!!!!