Celebrating my birthday with a GIVEAWAY!!

The month of May is my Birthday month and also my 6 month blogging anniversary.  The saying, “Time flies when you’re having fun” definitely applies here!

For my birthday I wanted to do a giveaway to one (1) lucky winner. The prize will consist of e-gift cards to a few of my favorite stores totaling $75.00. ($25 increments to Target, Victoria Secrets, and Amazon)

You’ll have up until 5/4 midnight (EST) to get your submissions in.  The winner will be announced on my birthday, May 5th, via blog and on all social media sites.  Be sure to look out for that post as your name may be listed as the winner and additional information will be posted on how to redeem prize!

To qualify, click HERE !! 

*Earn additional entries by liking and/or sharing the post that I’ve posted on IG or FB by using the hashtag #itojablog (You can find my social media links under MENU in the right corner of this blog)*

**Tag a friend or two for even more entries**

Updated 5/5/18–This giveaway has now ended.

This giveaway is powered by Rafflecopter

Good Luck!

design

My Thick Girl Woes

Disclaimer:  This post is brought to you by my favorite jeans that has seen its last days and my bra that lost her wire the other day.  RIP to you both! 😦

Does anyone revamp their diet as much as I do?  Like a car I’m constantly trying to give myself and my diet a tune-up.  I frequent the gym about three to four days a week, whenever my schedule permits.  My friends often joke with me when we are all together saying, “all Toya want is a salad.”  I laugh because it is funny but most of the time it is true.

I’ve reasoned with the fact that I will mostly likely be a thick girl for the rest of my life.  But that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t take care of myself.  It also doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t workout or strive to clean up my diet when there is room for cleaning.

I actually enjoy being “fit and thick.”  That’s a term I often use.  No matter your size you should want to live a healthy life.  You should also want to look nice in your clothes.

I remember having to have a surgery and the doctors mentioning how healthy I was.  But they said it like they were surprised.  I wanted to say, thick girls workout too!  But I decided to keep quiet.  Besides, I was getting ready to go under the knife!  Speaking of doctors, my family has a history of diabetes and high blood pressure so it is always my goal to make sure that my name never reaches that list.

Believe me, my only problem is when my favorite jeans get holes in between the thighs due to my thickness rubbing together.  Or a wire breaking out of my favorite bra.  It is then and only then when I feel like my world has crumbled.  Perhaps, you’re a thick girl too and you may struggle with being a little bustier or thick in thigh area as well.  Or, you too, fluctuate between sizes and find it hard to shop online because you don’t know what size to get or what would look best!  FYI:  The goal to looking nice in your clothes is buying clothes that fit; no matter the size.  My closet has every size you could possibly think of in it.  You shouldn’t put yourself in a box or limit yourself to just one size.  You could go up a size and look smaller in the bigger size than you would if you stayed with the smaller size.

No matter your size; be healthy, finesse it, and be phenomenal!

Phenomenal Woman by Maya Angelou
Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms,
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them,
They say they still can’t see.
I say,
It’s in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing,
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need for my care.
’Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

design

Bridal/Formal Dress Shopping 101

Most people become engaged between November and February; you know the given Holiday season where couples are with family and friends.  Those Holidays being Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, and Valentine’s Day.  Then right after Valentine’s day teenagers are fighting to get into a formal dress store to purchase their Winter dance dress and/or Spring prom dress.  This creates a very busy time for retail stores and some have even named the months between January and April as their “Christmas Bridal” season because the store are just crazy busy.

In order to maximize your time at these bridal shops and to relieve stress for you (because it can be stressful) I have put together a Bridal/Formal dress shopping code of ethics.  This 101 etiquette list will ensure that your shopping time will run as smoothly as possible.  It can also be used as a tool for those assisting you with shopping (parents, friends, etc.) as well as employees who will assist you at these bridal stores.  Believe me, I know.  I’ve been working in a Bridal store for some time now.  I have some stories I could share but instead, I’ll just share my tips.

  • Know your budget: When you know your budget your stylist will be able to pinpoint you to the dresses that falls within your budget.  A budget will immediately wipe out the frustration of picking out a dress that you cannot afford.  You will become extremely disappointed if you try on a $1500 dress with a $300 budget.  Knowing your budget is important!pexels-photo-210742.jpeg
  • Don’t let the size of the dress bring your spirits down:  Ladies.  These are designer dresses.  They run small, smaller, and smallest.  Don’t let the size get you down.  Often times you may have to go up two or three sizes and still need alterations for hemming, etc.  Different designers use different metrics and measurements when creating these beautiful show stopping dresses.  It’s not you….it’s them!
  • Have an idea of the style you want but also be open to try others; especially if your styles doesn’t look right on your body:  When you know the style of dress you like you take the guessing game away from the stylist and they are able to cater to you a little better and faster.  BUT, the style of dress you have always dreamed of may not look good on you.  This is just the hard facts.  You will know once putting on the dress if it’s “The Dress”.  It is at that point when the stylist may recommend other styles for you.  Be open to trying them on.  You honestly never know how it will look on you until you give it a try.
  • Make sure you are clean:  This should be self-explanatory but sometimes it is not.  You may have moments when you feel like you’ll just stop by after the gym or after walking the dog or while running an errand.  Ladies, these are very expensive dresses that multiple women will eventually try them on.  Having good hygiene while trying on bridal/formal dresses is very important.  Due to the size of the dresses and often the difficulty of trying on wedding gowns, stylist will often have to be very up close and personal with you.  I should also mention that wearing decent underclothes is important as well.
  • Don’t wait until the last minute: If you are getting married in June and you think you’ll going to get your dress in April, that may not be likely.  Unless you are able to buy the dress right off the rack, which means it’s your right size, color, price, etc.  There are some cases where it may take up to 16 weeks for your bridal dress to come in.  There are also cases where you will need alterations.  Alterations is usually booked months in advance.  So you always want to take that into consideration whenever you are shopping for formal wear.  hourglass-time-hours-sand-39396.jpeg
  • Bring one or two people with you but not your whole family or bridal party:  I wish I could put up a sign that says only two extra people allowed.  Honestly, it’s all you need.  When you have too many people with you to watch you “Say yes to the dress” things become very overwhelming very fast.  It’s very hard to get 10 people to all agree to the one dress and it only prolongs your time finding a dress, making it even more frustrating for you.  On top of that, most stores aren’t equipped to handle so many people at one time.  It’s just something to be mindful of.
  • Don’t allow your mother to become a Momzilla:  People always ask me if I see a lot of Bridezilla’s.  Honestly, no!  I see more Momzilla’s.  Moms who want what they want for the bride or moms who feel like a dress should come in a certain bag or they don’t understand why they can’t find all of the bridesmaid dresses they want.  Moms talking their daughters out of dresses that they truly love.  I see a lot of frustrated brides and moms trying to have things their way.
  • Don’t say yes to the dress and then don’t buy it:  There is nothing more frustration than for a stylist to work with you one on one for an hour and a half or more, to have you to say, “Yes to the dress” and to get to the counter and then you decide not to purchase?  Like why?  There is nothing wrong with looking or even trying on a dress but to say yes and to get to the counter to not buy the dress is ridiculous.  This is where open communication is key!  Create a relationship with your stylist, don’t be afraid to be honest with them.  Besides, all of this is for YOU!
  • Make an appointment:  When you have an appointment you can almost guarantee that you will be assigned to a stylist who will be able to give you that one-on-one special attention that only a bride deserves.
    • Make a separate appointment for your bridesmaids:  You do not want to take away from the time you have selecting your bridal dress and you probably also do not want to be at the bridal store for hours and hours and hours.  This is why a separate appointment is encouraged.  Each bridesmaid should be measured once selecting the style of dress they will wear.  Again, do not let the size deter you or your bridesmaids.   pexels-photo-970629.jpeg
  • Remember that most places don’t have dress check: Now I don’t know any place that does this but I’ve had several teenagers come to me and ask me if we had a “dress check?”  A dress check is when a prom dress is purchased you notate the school the teenager goes to so that no other person will buy that same dress and wear it to prom.  Perhaps this is something new, but just know that most places do not have a dress check.
  • Before you leave, be sure you are aware of the return/exchange policy:  This is probably most important.  A lot of bridal stores only have an exchange policy.  They do not take returns and alterations are extra.  It is IMPORTANT that you know the return/exchange policy when you are purchasing your dress BEFORE you walk out of that store.

So the next time you’re out shopping for a dress for your special occasion, whether it be your wedding gown, a formal dress for your next event, or helping your high school teen find their prom dress, remember this etiquette 101 course!  You can thank me later!

design

Q&A: Are you addicted to Labels?

Q:  I think I’m addicted to designer labels.  From Ferragamo, to Chanel, Tom Ford, Burberry, and Gucci; to name a few.  I did manage to go 62 days without shopping or buying clothes, but I recently messed up.  My girlfriend said she thinks my addiction stems from not having any kids and that’s how I supplement my void.  What do you think?

A:  If whatever you’re buying is within your means and you can afford it and you’re not using bill money or maxing out credit cards; I don’t see that as being addicted to shopping.  You’re not going through extreme measures that will cause significant consequences in order to supply your habit.  You may just love to shop and really love the finer things in life; such as designer labels.  Many of us enjoy the attention we get from wearing designer labels, which I don’t think anything is really wrong with that.  Many of us enjoy dwelling in luxury and being fashion-forward.  The saying, “you get what you pay for”, is really true.  On the flip side, I do believe that there are moments when shopping provides retail therapy and the thought or idea of buying something new is an instant spirit booster.  Perhaps, if this is happening more than usual, you may want to identify the reason(s) why you’re requiring so much “retail” therapy and address the root of that situation.  But just normal shopping, whether designer or not, I don’t think you have any worries..

Can anyone else provide some insight for this dear reader?  Do you think you’re addicted to shopping or buying designer labels?

If you have a question you would like to submit for feedback please email them to toja@itoja.com or inbox me on social media.

design

Black Card Revoked!

It’s officially Black History Month, and I want to change things up, so I feel its only right to begin with a new card gamed titled “Black Card Revoked!”  Find it HERE.  So in this game, you can pretty much play however you feel fit.  Because the instructions are clearly typed saying, I know you will make up your own rules anyway, so play however you want!  But then they give some general guidelines; like, you can play the religious version and every time you miss an answer read a scripture from the bible.  Or, play the gambling version and when you get an answer right, you get a point.  The goal of the game is to try to answer your question correctly so that your black card, or all the things that make you black (besides your skin color) will not be revoked. Continue reading

LuLaRoe Spritzer

Buttery soft leggings!  Where have you been all my life?  I’m finding myself wearing these LuLaRoe leggings more and more throughout the week.  I wish you could feel the softness of these leggings through this blog.  If you are not familiar with LuLaRoe it is a direct sales company and a great way to support entrepreneurs who may live within your community.  Continue reading

Did you say FREE?

Howdy folks!

I hope your New Year has gotten off to a great start.  As we begin fresh for the year, I want to begin with putting ourselves in a position to save money, and we can do this by utilizing reward offers that many companies offer.  I’m always amazed at how many people who don’t know about all the FREE items that we have at the tip of our fingers.  Literally, all we have to do is download an app in most cases.  Continue reading