How To Write The Perfect Wedding Toast

Believe it or not, fall is one the busiest seasons to get married.  You may ask how do I know this. Well, you could Google it, and of course Google will tell you the same thing, but remember I work at a Bridal Store, so I know firsthand that this is true.  Many engagements happen during the Holiday season (Nov-Jan). For those couples who plan to get married rather quick, a late summer or early fall wedding is ideal.  This gives them roughly 8-10 months to plan a wedding and that’s doable.  Then you have a lot of couples who want to get married in cooler temperatures (not too hot and not too cold) especially if their nuptials will take place outside.  Plus, there is something about fall colors that everyone just loves.  This takes me back to my original point that fall is one of the busiest season to get married!

Now, for the rest of us, those who are in a wedding this fall or perhaps even attending a wedding in the upcoming seasons, and you’re contemplating on the speech you’re going to give, you’ve come to the right place. Continue reading

Love is a Journey—First Year of Marriage Recap

The top three questions that were asked of me this year were, “How is married life? How has your first year of marriage been? Does it feel different to be married?”

In the beginning, my first response was “it’s the same”–because indeed it felt the same.  Our relationship was already planted on a solid foundation, really the only thing left to do was to get married.

But the more I was asked the more I started asking myself if there were things that were supposed to change because we had said, “I Do?” Continue reading

Brick by Brick

When a relationship doesn’t pan out to be what we expect it to be or what our version of a particular relationship should look like we begin to build mental walls.  The walls that we build are set into place brick by brick; because while we hope the relationship has potential we don’t want to personally set ourselves up for failure.  At best, we are trying to protect the heart.

I believe this to be true for all relationships.  Whether it’s a romantic relationship, a friendship, family, business, or casual. Continue reading


We met through mutual friends many years ago and dated briefly during the Summer while I was home from College.  On Father’s Day of that year, I total lost my car and Larmar transported me back and forth to work whenever we weren’t on a date.  In the Fall, I returned back to school, 2.5 hours away from home, and we decided to go our separate ways.  Larmar says, I broke up with him, I, however, do not remember it that way.  For years, we didn’t talk to each other and only saw each other in passing once I moved back home; still never having a conversation with one another.  Just a quick wave and that was it.  In 2014, Larmar asked to be my friend on Facebook, like most women, I contemplated before accepting.  You know, been there–done that!  After a few months, he would start small conversations.  His consistency, patience, and all around “good dude” persona, along with the ability to make me laugh non stop drew me in.  He was like a best friend and he still is.  After 4 great years of dating, we decided to get married! Continue reading

There’s a meeting in my Bedroom!

Warning:  This post is for Adults only! 

Ladies!!  Ladies!!  Ladies!!  Ladies!!

Are you having enough sex?  Are you pleasing your man?  Are you keeping it spicy and juicy as well as fresh in the bedroom?  Yup, that’s the conversation we’re having today.

Let me tell you….sex is necessary.  You can’t keep doing the same old thing day in and day out.  You have to spice it up.  Start that fire and let your man add to it and then put the flame out, okay!  Tell your man he has a fire he needs to put out and that you’re in need of the Vitamin D!

Sometimes you have to show up at the front door with something sexy on and a cute pair of heels; catch him off guard, those are always the best moments.  Sometimes you may need to make arrangements for the kids to stay at grandma’s house.  Or perhaps if you’re like me with teenagers in the house–you go in your room, shut and lock the door and turn the TV or music up.  Honey, you have to get it in where you can.

We all have long days at work and sometimes away from our significant others for hours throughout the day.  Do you ever text your man something sexy or send an emoji to let him know it’s going to be on tonight?

Emoji references:

🍆 = penis

🍑 = booty

👅 = lick

💋 = kisses

😘 = kisses

There are times when you may want to make love, then there are times when you just need a quickie, or you may need a little action at 3AM and then roll back over to go to sleep.  Shoot, there may be times when you just want to be nasty and do nasty things and that is okay too!

It’s funny, because I’ve always been a daddy’s girl.  However, I’ve never discussed anything remotely close to sex with my father.  At 16 years old he gave me a promise ring and told me to sustain from having sex before marriage.  Well of course that didn’t happen but my dad never really said much about it.  My father is also an ordained minister and when I got married he married my husband and I.  But before we were married we had “counseling” sessions with my father because of course, that’s what black people do before marriage.  While talking with my father he tells me to make sure I’m keeping my husband satisfied in the bedroom and having lots of sex.  Because it’s important in a marriage and because sex matters a whole lot to men.  I was taken aback when I heard that come out of my dads mouth.  I was his little girl or at least I wanted to think I was.  But in fact I was a full-grown adult about to be married and he was telling me to be sure my man was happy in the bedroom.   I figured if my daddy was telling me this then there must be some truth to it!

I believe that I’m currently in my prime years.  The years between 30-40, the time when we really need to be getting it in.  Because from what I hear once that menopause hit–there may be some drought happening and we really don’t have time for no dry desert situations.  So while we are still in our prime, the next time you and your man decide to get it on, be sure that you’re giving him all of you.  Be like Missy Elliot and sing to yourself, “P****Y don’t fail me now!”  Order some sexy lingerie.  Decide to try something different.  Make you a sexy music playlist and have it on hand for when you need it most.  Don’t forget to grab your oils and toys for the bedroom too.

Grant it, there are days when we as ladies just can’t seem to get the strength to go to the bathroom, let alone, to have sex.  Just like with finances, or dealing with the kids, or personal issues, communication is important when it comes to sex.  Don’t be afraid to have those sexual conversations with your partner.  That way both parties are being pleased on a consistent basis.  Because ladies, it’s just as important that you are being pleased too!

The D Challenge

I go hound for the D

Pound for pound for the D

I jump up & down, then on the ground for the D

Don’t mess around with the D

I take my time with the D

Anytime, yes indeed

I freshened up for the D

Baked a cake for the D, cuz I’m about to put him to sleep

I put the turtleneck on the D

But I’m careful with the teeth

My dude is like Drake, he’s back to back for the P!

– Itoja

If you’re not married and having sex please be sure you are having safe sex. 

Got comments? Leave them below! 

Keep it Spicy,


Itoja’s Top 5 Blogs of 2018

Hey Friends!

For starters, check out my shirt in the featured picture.  I ran across it online and I just had to order it.  It’s such a conversation starter; with those who know I’m a blogger and also to those who have no clue!

So when I’m wearing the shirt, I typically respond with, yes, I am a blogger plus so much more!  As you all know, I recently celebrated my one year blogging anniversary (you can find that post HERE); this past year has been a blast and I’ve posted a ton of blogs! 🙂  Today, I’m sharing my top 5 blogs of the year with you.  It’s my year-end wrap-up!

At Last….My Love has come along! Here I share my last blog before getting married.  I also share some of the anxieties I was having as we got closer to the big day!

The Black community needs therapy too! Therapy is something that is not often talked about in the black community–Here I share why it IS needed.

My Top 5 Mystery Podcast I love Podcast. It literally helps my work day go by faster. Here are my top 5 mystery podcast. I can’t wait to share more with you in 2019.

5 reasons to read “The Face of Expression” By Aaron Woodson My first book review. Find out why you should read “The Face of Expression.”

I Have Beef With Our Black Brothers Earlier in the year I spoke about why I was upset with Black men. (FYI: Meek Mill, whom I reference in the post is no longer in jail).

Were one of these blogs on your top favorite list?  If you have your own personal favorite, be sure to share it below.

Also, share your favorite podcast–I’m eager to listen.

Be sure to stay tuned for what’s to come from Itoja in 2019.  I can’t believe this year has gone by so fast.  Love what you’re reading?  Click the SUBSCRIBE button and follow me on Social Media!

Your Virtual BFF,



My Travels to Cuba


  1. Passport (Proof of citizenship)
  2. Visa (Permits entry in to a country) $75/person
  3. Travel Affidavit


I do want to emphasize that we traveled to Cuba via a cruise ship and once we arrived to the Port of Tampa we were given our Visa’s.  Completion of the Visa would be required prior to going through immigration in order to get into Cuba.  If you’re flying over I would imagine you would have to obtain your Visa before arriving or at the airport.  *Tip: Although it didn’t happen to us, it is important that you do not lose your Visa and that you fill it out correctly because if any of these two things happens you have to purchase the Visa’s over.* Continue reading