Honoring The Elderly

I’ve always been grandma’s girl.  I’m not the only one, but as the first grandchild, I can say that.  But even taking it a step further–beyond my grandmother and including all elders–they are like treasures; full of wisdom and knowledge.

You see, at 81 years of age, grandma is tender yet strong.  She’s had some health issues and she spends a lot of time at the doctor and sometimes she’s a little fussy, but it’s ok.  As grandma she has that right.

These days she’s trying her best to hold on to some of her independence.  She still wants to cook here and there and she’s determine to get up each day, putting one foot in front of the other.  It’s not easy handing the torch over, however, she understands where she is now in life and has humbly obliged. Continue reading

This is America

A while back I made a statement on one of my social media accounts stating to be aware of those people who are “Pro-Fetus but Anti-child.”

This particular quote comes from Bakari Sellers, an African-American attorney, political commentator, and politician.

First, let’s be really clear here. I’m neither pro-life or pro-choice. This is a hard fence to straddle because what it all boils down to is what a woman decides to do with her body and what’s inside of her. Women have abortions for many different reasons and quite frankly I don’t think that white males (or any male) should be telling women what they should or should not be doing with their bodies. But these particular people like to be in control so therefore they like to put laws into place that will somehow stroke their little egos. Continue reading

Protecting our Daughters!

I remember growing up and often feeling like my sister and I really couldn’t do as much as our friends or cousins did.  There were times when we would beg and plead to stay over someone’s house and the answer was always, NO!  Eventually we got use to the word NO and stop asking to stay places or to even go certain places.  My mother always stated that our friends could come visit us and that was it.  I really didn’t understand why at the time but that was our life.

Just so we are clear, I come from a two parent home, but whatever momma said is what the final rule was.  If we ever tried to out talk my mother all she had to do was say my daddy’s name and my dad would give us a look, as if to say, you heard what your momma said! LOL

Now that I’m older, I understand my mother’s logic quite well and I’m actually very thankful that such guidelines were in place.  I now know that my mother was protecting me from being exposed to potential situations I had no business being in at such a young age.  I also realize that my parents only wanted what was best for my sister and me.

What it boils down to is, a person doesn’t know what goes on at another person’s house behind closed doors.  Not saying that everyone is doing bad things but you just don’t know.  Another parent might have rules that are totally different from what are currently in place at your house.  It’s better to not have a child placed in an environment that could be totally foreign to them.

All of this came to mind after I was watching the “Surviving R. Kelly” docuseries that recently aired on Lifetime.  In case you didn’t watch the series, this man has preyed on younger girls for most of his music career causing mental, physical, and sexual abuse to young girls and women as they told their personal stories.  The docuseries highlighted his actions from a young child all the way up to today–where it is said that he had a sex cult.  I watched the show with my daughter as it was very hard to do so, but being that I too, have a 14 year old child, I felt it was necessary and important.

I remember listening to him in heavy rotation as a teenager, not really knowing or putting two and two together.  Now when I think about some of the songs that he made they seem to all be centered on him targeting young naïve children.  Songs like Bump & Grind, and the lyrics stating “His mind is telling him no…but his body is telling him yes!”  Imagine him, as a 28 year old man singing this to a 14  year old girl.

What’s even more disgusting are the parents who act like they couldn’t do anything to protect their children.  I remember listening to the show and this one couple stating that their child who was 14 at the time, threatened them if they didn’t let her go away with R. Kelly.


Are you kidding me?

Who’s the parent and who’s the adult in this situation?

I wish my daughter would come to me and tell me she’s running off with some guy and if I don’t let her she’s going to threaten me.  Honey, you better send all your threats then because my number one mission and goal is to always protect my child whether she likes it or not.  I hate to see parents not protecting their children and just letting them do whatever they want.  It’s time for us to take back the parent role in our households.  I tell my daughter all the time, you will thank me when you get older and that’s that.

I also believe that it is our responsibility to not only protect our daughters but to also have the best interest of other children that may cross our paths at heart.  During this R. Kelly docuseries so many people were helping and assisting him with getting way with being a predator and no one ever stood up for these young girls.  No one came to their rescue.  No one had enough balls to tell R. Kelly NO!  They were all smitten by his fame and celebrity lifestyle that they allowed a grown man to take advantage of innocent girls.

So the current question floating around social media is can you separate the artist from art?  I believe in this instance, there is no way to separate the two.  Time after time he wrote and sung songs that were centered on having sex with young girls and WE as a culture have ignored every single solitary sign that has come across our TV’s and radio. It’s time that we do better.  We can start by not listening to his music!

I want to publicly ask my generation to stop listening to R. Kelly’s music as protecting our daughters should be more important than listening to his music.  How about we not give him wings so that he can fly any more.  How about we step in the name of love and protect our daughters.   Lets also teach our daughters the importance of self worth and self love.  That no man should ever be able to take their power or voice away from them.



Checking In

Hey Friends,

I know this is an impromptu post, but I wanted to check-in to see how each of you were doing.  Strong friends need to be checked on from time to time as well.

Life is currently kicking my butt.  On my big girl job, we switched to a new system and it’s a lot slower than what we had before; leaving us 24K accounts behind. We’ve been on mandatory overtime for over a month now and although the money is good, I’m feeling every bit of it.  Lets not forget that I also have a part-time job and a family to tend to.  Ugh!

I’m also not feeling my best physically.  I haven’t been able to workout in over a month.  That is not good.  As a curvy girl, working-out is a necessity.  I may be thick but I need to make sure everything stays in the proper place.  And no, I have not been eating all my veggies.  So I’m trying to at least stay on top of my water.  I need to go to Urgent Care too because my sinuses are not giving up.

I’m adulting big time these days but it’ll all pay off later, I’m sure.  What’s that motto?  Work Hard; Play Hard or Work Now; Play Later?  Whatever it is, that’s what I’m living by at the moment!

So that’s just a quick update on me.  If you’re out here adulting like myself, hang in there.  There’s light at the end of the tunnel and remember you are not alone.

What’s been going on in your life?  Check in and please share.




Life happens and then what?

Typically, this blog is fun and light-hearted.  Sometimes it’s even sassy and mischievous. To be honest, I love all of that about this blog but I must be real and say that sometimes, LIFE HAPPENS!

We find ourselves living our “Best Life” and suddenly we are faced with what looks like turmoil.  Not just with me but with all of us and we have to dig deeper and reach a little higher.  So today, I want to present a different side of this blog.  I want to present a place of refuge.  I want to remind my readers that no matter what you are going through at any time of your life that God is sitting at His thrown and he sees and hears all of your cries.

There are times when I must be willing and obedient to the Word of God and bow down to his authority.  That time is now.  On a daily basis we all go through so much.  It can be on the job, at home, or within our own minds.

The great thing about God is that He will never put more on you than you can bear and often times we have to remind ourselves of that.  Sometimes God has to break us all the way down so that he can build us back up and make room for overflow in our lives.

So whatever you may be going through today, I want to suggest to you to surrender that THING to God.  Whether it’s your marriage, finances, a job, your children, your health, an addiction, your mental state, etc.  Maybe you’re just constantly on the go and you’re so busy with your every day activities that you haven’t even had a moment to think about your day or what is consuming all of your time.  You’re so distant from the world and the word of God, you don’t know whether you are coming or going.  Whatever it is, we need to surrender.  When we surrender to God we then make room for whatever that is profitable in our lives.  Whether it be peace, or love, or joy, or deliverance, or just time.

We have the power to face our situation straight in the face.  I tell Satan all the time, not today!  Hell nah, to the nah, nah, nah!

There are also times when I have to reconnect my faith.  As an adult I tend to let my worries or doubts do the thinking for me.  I know that is not right.  I have to remind fear that it is not the GPS system of my life and therefore I will not be following along its path.

Like the Prodigal Son, I have to go back to what I know and what I know to be a constant in my life; and that is, that God cannot be moved.  He is still like the tree planted by the waters. He is still the beginning and the end.  He is still the only living one.  He is still Lord of Lords and King of Kings.  He is still my rock!

Can I get an Amen?

In closing, I would like to say this prayer for all of you:

Dear God,

I thank you for the readers of this blog.  I ask that you touch them wherever they may be in this appointed time.  I ask that you give each of them the strength to surrender to you and your will.  I pray that you take what was and make it be better than what you said it was going to be.  Turn their test into a testimony.  Turn their pain into joy.  Lord God I pray that as they go through this storm called life that they would come out as pure gold.  We thank you for your power, for your grace, and for your mercy.  We ask that you see past our insecurities so that we can learn to grow again.  We ask that you give us peace that surpass all of our understanding.  But most of all we just thank you for being you.  In Jesus name, Amen.

I love each and every one of you and I pray that this blog will be beneficial in your life today or whenever “Life Happens”.



Hello…..are you still there?

Testing, 1, 2, 3, 4…..(taps on mic)…….Mic Check 1!

Hey There!!!

I am super-duper excited to be back with all of you.  As you all are aware, my last post “At last….my love has come along” announced that I was getting married and therefore needed to take a small hiatus from blogging in order to focus on final details of the wedding.  The last minute stuff was the most overwhelming of the whole wedding planning process.  For me, I wanted to make sure everything was just right.  Then there were rehearsals, running a million and one errands, hair and make up and trying to pack for the honeymoon.  We decided to drive 12 hours from Virginia to Florida to then cruise to Cuba and Mexico for our honeymoon, and then had to drive back to Virginia…my life has been REALLY busy.  Oh, and lets not forget enjoying my new HUSBAND!!  Owwwww!!!

I really missed you guys though.  My stress level was constantly increasing and as much as I needed and wanted to blog I honestly didn’t have one minute to spare.  Between my emotions literally being on a roller coaster and just trying to check off all of my “to do” items on my list…..I really couldn’t wait for the day to be over.  We (myself, mother, sister, and aunt) pretty much planned and coordinated my wedding and when you begin to bump heads with your mother, who is one of your best friends and who literally will do anything for you…that’s when you know this has become a little too much and you ask yourself, how did we even get to this place from the beginning?

But, I am back now!  The wedding is over and no love was lost between me and any of my family members. LOL I will now have time to blog, time to relax, and ample opportunities to save money!!!!!!!!! I am also back from our wonderful honeymoon and I’ll give you all the deets a little later.

I’m eager to know what you all have been up to? I hope you all are still aboard this “Itoja” train as I’ve missed you all during this time away.  I also want to know if you have any questions about my wedding, etc?  I’m happy to answer so please ask away.  I’ll be posting blogs about my wedding and honeymoon here and there as well as pictures so stay tuned.

I pray that life has been great to all of my readers.